I have spoken to a lot of women about orgasms and frankly, a lot tell me that they just don't get off from penetration alone during sex. What's sad, is that many confess to me that they'll fake an orgasm because they don't want their partner to feel like they can't get the job done.
Look, if you're not having an orgasm during sex, there's nothing wrong with you, or your partner for that matter. In my experience, the female orgasm is as much about state of mind as it is about technique. And, if you're a woman of a certain age, you might find that it's harder to climax these days.
That said, if you're faking it, you're robbing yourself of the best part of the encounter.
The best advice I can give you is to be honest with your partner. Your partner wants you to experience pleasure. Honesty can help to create intimacy. So use your conversation as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship. Open up and talk. If you're feeling a little vulnerable, you're doing it right!
An honest conversation about sex can also be a powerful aphrodisiac. Talk about what you want and need, and give very specific suggestions about what you'd like to do during sex in order to achieve mutual satisfaction. Men, in particular, are hyper-sensitive to all forms of sexual stimulation, aural included. Want to heat him up so you can try out your suggestions right away? Studies suggest that you should use very explicit language.
We recommend adding a vibrator to your repertoire. Vibrators are great for clitoral stimulation while your partner is inside you, and they have the added benefit of being fun for your partner as well. Here are some of our favorites:
